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Polar Melting Reveals Giant Fortress

Photo: Mystery in the Solitude of the Barren North

(SNN) Global warming, which is being blamed for melting the northern polar ice cap (think frozen ice fields, not tasty beverage), has revealed a mystery in the once-frozen solitude. Beneath a mighty ice mountain lay a crystalline fortress built with such enormous components, the builder could not possibly have been of terrestrial origin.

"I know it seems ridiculous to be talking about aliens but the technology doesn't yet exist on Earth that could lift the gigantic diamond-like columns, walls and beams the building was constructed with," said Professor James Olsen of the University of Alaska (Nome). "I would be interested in other theories, of course, but so far, alien activity is the likeliest explanation."

Scientists on the ground, or rather, on the melting glacier, at this extreme northern site have noticed a huge keyhole in what appears to be a door to the structure. They report there is a giant key on a nearby island but the sheer cliff edges forbid landing craft and the key is far too big for even multiple cargo choppers to lift.

"This structure represents a most significant scientific mystery," marvelled Olsen. "You should see this place. It's really super, man!" 

Cropped PhotoSome Right Reserved by Laszlo Ilyes flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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