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Here are the Latest Headlines The Sage is working on.


SWAT Team Gives Mother with Baby in the Back Traffic Ticket

(SNN) - “With everybody and their brothers having guns,” said the lead officer, heading back to his Iraq War-surplus armored vehicle, “we can’t be too careful.”


50,000 Central American Children Cross Border to Avoid Violence in Home Countries

(SNN) - 50,000 US college kids cross Mexican border to get drunk and pass out.


Desperate Business Tries a Hobby Lobby

(SNN) - Struggling to stay open, the neighborhood's last Video Rental store tries to get tons of free publicity by turning political. “We tried turning born-again Christian and turning anti-abortion, “ the owner said, “but we didn’t get a single protester, let alone anti-abortion supporters, flocking to our store, in our defense. Being for products made in sweatshops, lowering the minimum wage and privatizing Social Security didn’t do a damn bit of good either.”


House Bans Revision to Wikipedia Entry

(SNN) - When historians were harsh on the Tea Party and Republicans, in an entry on the Obama years, a House Subcommittee rewrote history. And anyone who changes it will get life in prison.


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DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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