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Semen Extractor Being Sold For Non-Medical Reasons

Photo: You think your job sucks?

(SNN) - Scientists at the University of Beijing have developed a machine to harvest sperm from human males but it is suspected that a number of these machines are falling into the wrong hands.  It is believed these machines, along with the “personal wellness vibrating platforms” found in North American spas, have found their way into the black market. (Is it still okay to say “black market”?)

“I can’t imagine what anyone else would want with a semen extraction mechanism,” frowned device co-inventor, Buck Choy. “Its sole use is entirely in diagnostic medicine. It is bewildering to me what else it could be used for.”

Interests that have approached Choy’s working group include Planned Parenthood, Fertility Practitioners of North America and Penthouse Magazine. Choy chuckled at the obvious communications snafu with regard to the latter business.

“Obviously, Penthouse isn’t interested in medical equipment,” Choy chuckled. “They must be terribly embarrassed at their mistake.”

Photo: Screen dump from the featured youtube video.

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