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China Hits Back After DC Naming 'Outrage'

Photo: Chinese Embassy road named for jailed dissident

(SNN) - A Time magazine report (found here) claims Washington DC officials authorized the street in front of the Chinese embassy to be renamed after a jailed dissident from that country. The Sage has learned Beijing has retaliated by rechristening the boulevard in front of the American Embassy, "Lee Harvey Oswald Hero's Way". One senior Washington official, however, claimed that the incident was all a mistake and that they thought Nobel Laureate, Liu Xiaobo was "just another Chinese dude we'd never heard of."

"Don't blame us," said the Washington Landmark Naming Commission’s head signage installer, Stu Pidley,  "We was only told to pick the name of some famous Chinese schmuck and get a sign put up. We just went through the English language papers in China to see what name was being talked about most there. We had no idea he was in jail for protesting government actions. From the glowing reports in the Western press, we thought he might be a folk hero or something."

The Chinese government, for its part, was enraged by the naming fiasco. However, according to the Obama administration's senior Asian advisor, Ollie Nordstrom, the name the DC officials had selected was just a cultural mix-up which can easily happen accidently.  Renaming the American embassy street, on the other hand, was clearly an attempt to provoke anger.

"Yompin' Yimminey," gushed the Far East advisor in an exclusive Sage interview. "We're in soch a pickle over dis naming brouhaha, you bet! We never meant to tick dem off, no sir. In international affairs, we never fire de first shot... well, odder dan a couple times."

It is now unclear whether Washington will be issuing the Chinese embassy a different address than the new listing of #1, Liu Xiaobo Plaza. Until it is changed, the American embassy will be in Beijing on the corner of the aforementioned Lee Harvey Oswald Hero's Way and the also suddenly renamed, Dealey Plaza.

Unaltered Photo: Some Right Reserved by Nancy Pelosi flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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