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Bill C420 -Tories Link Pot Law, Sex Trade Bill

Photo: 'We have an obligation to protect our nation's drug dealers.'

(SNN) - In order to harmonize the Harper government's new prostitution legislation with pending marijuana reform, in a proposed new bill, only the buyers of pot will be prosecuted, not the sellers.

The bill, number C420, is entitled, "A Bill to Modernize the Marijuana Laws with the Possibility of Decriminalization or Handing Out Tickets For It or Something." Parts of the marijuana initiative mirror the prostitution bill that saves the sellers in a sex trade transaction from criminal prosecution, but not the "John" who is assumed to be exploiting the woman.

"It is apparent that people who risk so much to sell cannabis on the street are victims and those that use their services are obviously exploiting them," asserted Public Safety Ministry spokesman, Elmund Leatherwattle, "That was the conclusion we reached with the new prostitution legislation we tabled and we see no reason to treat the two quasi-criminal acts differently."

The thrust of the bill was immediately embraced by both the President and Treasurer of The Canadian National and Federal and Uh National Association of Marijuana Dealers of Canada, (CNFUNAMDC), Rosie Sawred and Violet Sarblew who immediately issued a supportive haiku via Twitter

No crime for sellers
Just our valued customers
True "Buyer Beware"
#micropoetry #weed

"It is vital that we protect our nation's drug dealers given the serious reality that a majority of our customers are drug users," said Sawred in a later Facebook post. "Protecting people from their poor choices is the most important role of government."

Unaltered PhotoSome Right Reserved by Ed and Eddie flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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