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5 Reasons Monsanto is Suing Vermont Over GMO Labels

Photo: The David and Goliath Story Starring Vermont as David

(SNN) - Monsanto Corporation, who, according to Fortunate 500 magazine, has won the award for “Most Despised International Corporation” for the last 12 years straight (beating out both Halliburton and Al Qaeda), is now trying to retain their throttlehold on their honor by suing Vermont. The tiny state has dared to create a law that forces food manufacturers to advise consumers if their products contain genetically modified ingredients.

This may not be a fair fight as Monsanto is a much wealthier entity than Vermont is, with annual revenues in excess of $14B compared to Vermont’s total tax income of $1.2B.  It is rumoured Monsanto has more lawyers on staff than Vermont has public employees at 7800.  Vegas oddsmakers are already taking bets on Monsanto that will pay 12-1.  The state has been rumored to be interested in putting some of their reserve money on Monsanto just to cover their bets.

To sort out why Monsanto is willing to risk their pristine corporate brand by beating up on the state, we’ve asked Vermont’s most respected think tank, Stella’s Political Chat and Knitting Circle, in central Derby, to see if they could theorize what the company sees is at stake. Here are the possibilities.

  1. People think GMO products will cause mutations like growing a third eyeball when the reality is that this sort of thing hardly ever happens.
  2. If Vermont is able to stand up to this perceived corporate bully, next thing you know real governments will think they can.
  3. If folks ever found out how many foods they are already eating contain GMO ingredients, they’d crap their cargo pants.
  4. Monsanto hasn’t yet rolled out their new advertising blitz trying to get people to think that GMO stands for Gives Moms Orgasms.
  5. It will become common knowledge that the only corn left on the planet is GMO corn, other than the strains in Bill Gate’s secret specimenarium in the Arctic, which Monsanto has been trying to infiltrate for years.

Pro-Vermont forces have set up a website to crowd-source funding for the looming legal battle that can be found here. In further support, Vermont’s legal team, whose name is Norman, is holding a bake sale in front of the courthouse in Montpelier during summer weekend afternoons to help out.

Unaltered Photo: Some Rights Reserved by Martin aka Maha  flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here

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