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Monsanto Introduces Rainbow Peas With Fruity Flavors

Photo: Fresh off the vine

(SNN) - The controversial seed company, Monsanto, has made another move that will cause their detractors fits. They have genetically engineered garden peas to grow in a myriad of colors and flavors.

“My daughter likes the red ones,” chuckled lead geneticist, Dr. Palletta Hughes. “They taste like cherry cheesecake. Of course I would only let my daughter eat food that I trusted, no matter how many heads she has.”

The announcement came at the Monsanto Amusing Mutation Museum at their secret world headquarters where blindfolded reporters were taken to earlier in the day after being strip, cavity, and identity searched. 

“For years the snack food industry has been taking healthy foods and processing all the goodness out. They take nutritious corn and natural cheese and make unhealthy food choices such as Doritos and Cheetos,” explained Monsanto VP of Communications, Carl U. Beck-Lader, “We are helping consumers by offering a different option; foods that are healthy for you but actually tastes so good, you think it must be bad for you.”

Among the reporters that availed themselves of the free samples that were offered, less than half were brave enough; the consensus was that they tasted somewhat like Fruity Pebbles cereal. They felt the peas would be a huge hit with children despite the peas’ lack of long term effects studies.

“Trust Monsanto!” implored Beck-Lader. “We won a Nobel Prize just like President Obama did. You trust him, don’t you?”

Unaltered Photo: Some Right Reserved by Koshy Koshy flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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