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Obama/Castro Sign Papers Making Cuba 51st State

Photo: Barack and Michelle Take a Stroll in Havana

(SNN) - In an historic meeting in Havana, U.S. President, Barack Obama, and Cuban President, Raul Castro, met to ratify agreements that would make Cuba the newest state in the union. In a stunning development, the White House admitted talks have been ongoing for over a year, “to move past unfortunate incidents of the past”. These incidents include the Bay of Pigs nuclear war brinksmanship, the establishment of an American naval base at Guantanamo Bay, and that whole assassination of Kennedy thing.

“This is a great deal for Americans and Cubans alike,” boasted Obama. “The people of the United States have pledged to give each and every one of the 12 million Cuban citizens $1000.00. This represents about five years worth of wages for them. In return, we will bring Cuba into our sphere of influence and remove a threat to our own people. Not bad for $12 Billion!”

President Castro appeared jubilant in the press conference as if he had been out-bargained in the unfolding developments. He did however arrive at the news conference in a brand-new Cadillac Escalade that appeared to have a super-model in the passenger seat and the hatch-back stuffed with cash.

“This is both a sad day and a great day for all Cubans,” said Castro to the international press. “It will be tough to lose our autonomy but will stop all those idiots from trying to swim to Miami.  Plus, we will finally get to buy vehicles that don’t look like they are refugees from old time gangster movies.”

When pressed by a number of reporters that the arguments for ceding their government to America appear to be rather flimsy, Castro finally came clean towards the end of the press conference.

“The main reason we want the US to expand their presence here is that we have come to realize this is the only way we can get rid of all of those infernal, annoying Canadian tourists that flock here every winter,” Castro admitted candidly. “Those people are incredibly infuriating, not to mention so white they hurt your eyes. At least Americans can tan.”+

Unaltered Photo: Some Right Reserved by Flippinyank flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

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