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Captured NK Nukes Powered by Mints, Diet Soda

PHOTO: Western defectors working on NK weapons program

(SNN) - A North Korean nuclear missile, which had been recovered ten days ago after it had landed unexploded just over the border on the South Korean side, has been reversed engineered by armament experts. The examination of the missile by a team of Americans revealed that the propulsion system for the weapon was crushed mints, along with canisters of diet soda.

"This was a surprising development," admitted Dr. Edwin "Pop" Pepper, lead engineer on the North Korean bomb research team. "We had believed Pyongyang had been using solid fuel booster rockets to propel their weaponry. It was a great relief to all that it was just Mentos and Diet Coke."

Other scientists were quick to point out that the mints and soda made for a volatile concoction and are nothing to be sneezed at unless they fizzy up your sinuses. Stark evidence of the explosive power of the dangerous mix can be found here, here and here.

"We are very happy that the fuel system used by Kim Jung-un's forces has a very limited range," stated Dr. Pepper. "We are still conducting tests but are now fairly certain their nuclear material was actually baking soda and balsamic vinegar."

Unaltered Photo: Some Right Reserved by Crustina! flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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