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Here are the Latest Headlines The Sage is Working On

Study Shows that Men Whose Testicles Get Smaller After Marriage Are Better Fathers/Husbands 

(SNN) - “Once men are in settled relationships and have children, their testicles do get smaller, but only if the man is not playing around on the side,” the report quoted in American Science said.  Women everywhere are now demanding to make before and after measurements.

E-Cigarette Makers Up In Arms About Proposed Regulations

(SNN) - “In twenty years, if our scientists find they have negative health effects, we’ll gladly stop advertising to grade school and high school kids with cool colors, cartoon characters and candy flavors,” stated a lobbyist in a press release.

Homosexuality in the Animal Kingdom Not Allowed in College Textbooks

(SNN) - “It’s just another example of liberals poisoning the minds of our youth, like they’re trying to do with evolution and climate change,” a member of the Texas Board of College Ed said.

Low Church Attendance Blamed on Big Sports Games Being Scheduled on Sundays

(SNN) - Pat Robertson says it’s a conspiracy of the liberal media to destroy religion in America. And he demands legislation to end this abuse.

Ed Toolis’ website –

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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