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Woman Hurt By Falling Hardhat; Safety Gear Blamed

Photo: Making Money is Everyone's Business... Safety, Too, Kinda

(SNN) - Ayla Tett, a warehouse worker in Walla-Walla, Washington was injured when she put on all the safety gear specified in the company policy manual and went to don a hardhat to cap it all off. Her hardhat was kept on the top shelf of the equipment bay and when she tried to reach it, it fell.

According to head shipper and volunteer safety officer, Merlyn Ferbish, the rock-hard, sharp-edged brim of the hardhat “severed the right triaxial magna cortica region of Tett’s cranium. This resulted in excessive blood flow and a huge mess for the hazmat team on the night shift to clean up”.

Ferbish blamed the excessive amount of safety gear Tett was wearing for her injury.

“According to eye witnesses, Ayla was constricted in her movements, after putting on her insulated coveralls, fall protection harness, visibility vest, leather gloves and a number of other mandated articles,” said Ferbish to reporters. “When she reached up for the hardhat and it was dislodged from the storage area, she couldn’t react quickly enough to prevent the serious injury.”

Tett had worn the equipment in order to climb a two-step foot-stool to change a light bulb. She was unavailable for comment as she was still being sequestered in Ferbish’s one-bed, make-shift critical care ward, next to the janitor supplies, across from the lunchroom. Company executives say they expect Tett to have a complete recovery and should be at her post for work the next day.

Unaltered Photo: Some Right Reserved by Phil! Gold flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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