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Gas Theft leads to the Escape of Culprit in Ottawa.

Brazen crook steals gas in a drive-through.

(SNN) – Police in Ottawa, Ontario today have issued an "All Points Bulletin" on a man only described as being 5 foot 4 inches, wearing red pants and a black parka when he eluded police after a 50 minute chase throughout the greater metropilitan area.

According to the Assassinated Press, the thief siphoned gasoline from a car sitting at a drive through at a local Tim Horton coffee shop. The victim's automobile was a 2012 Ford Crown Victoria sporting red and blue emergency lights occupied by two members of the Ottawa Police Service. “It was funny as hell,” advised one patron who wished not to be identified, “the coffee shop was packed and we all had our noses pressed against the windows looking at this guy syphoning gas from the police cruiser.” According to witnesses, the police officers inside were completely blind to the fact that the theft was going down.

“The next thing we noticed was this guy running with the can of gas to his pick-up truck,” advised one bystander. “The cops finally took notice. The guy got into his truck and spun out of the icy lot with the cops right behind him.”

The Sage has learned that a high speed pursuit took place; and just outside of Cumberland, both the culprit and the police cruiser ran out of gas with less than a kilometre between the two.

“All I saw was these two very large policemen running toward this beat-up Dodge Pick-up truck stopped on the side of the road,” advised Peter Schmickle, a truck driver for Highway 420 Trucking. “This long-hair got out and was filling his truck with a jerrycan,” Schmickle added. “About 100 feet from the hippie, both cops stopped and bent over grabbing their sides. I think they were tuckered out.”

According to the authorities the suspect, got back into his truck and sped off. Police are asking that if anyone has information leading to the arrest of the perpetrator, they are to call the Tim Hortons on March Road and leave a message with Becky.

Photo: Some Rights Reserved Micheal Burns flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed, The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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