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Keystone XL to be Renamed 'Sunshine Love Unity Joy' Pipeline

Photo: Masked environmentalist tries to set pipeline on fire

(SNN) - A spokesman for Trans Canada Pipeline (TCP), Major Cerius Leek, held a news conference on Wednesday to announce the renaming of the controversial Keystone XL pipeline. The new name for the much maligned initiative is Sunshine Love Unity Joy pipeline.

“We at TCP understand we have a public relations problem on our hands in trying to get the nice American folks to go along with our pipeline plans,” admitted Leek. “Therefore, we decided that we would tackle the obvious problem; people don’t like the name. ‘XL’ sounds so heavy, perhaps we should have called it the Keystone Petite. Nonetheless, all we have to do to get people to accept it is to call it something else.”

According to the press kit, the company had tested a number of other names in a series of focus group sessions held across the country. Some of the other contenders were “Money and Jobs for All” pipeline, “The Happy Ending” pipeline and “Keystone Light” pipeline.

“We have tried to be very pro-active with this issue and meet criticism of this project head-on,” stated Leek. “After long deliberations, the only problem we can think of is the name of the pipeline. Never let it be said we don’t respond to public pressure.”

When asked if the company was concerned about the acronym the Sunshine Love Unity Joy pipeline would produce, Leek looked at his briefing notes in alarm and immediately ended the press conference.

Photo: Some rights reserved by jasonwoodhead23 flickr photostream, The Sage nor the article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

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