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Mom Charged After Letting Daughter Walk to School

Photo: Police prepare to escort student to prevent further harm

(SNN) - Vera White, a housewife in Fair Haven, Vermont, has been charged with abandonment and criminal negligence after allowing her 14 year-old daughter to walk to Howard Taft Junior High: a large middle school almost three blocks from her home. 

"Endangering your child like that is incredibly irresponsible," raged child welfare spokesman, Prudence Over-Dunn. "Sure, we have never had a single incident of children being attacked by pedophiles or whisked away by kidnappers on their way to school, but we still have to live life like the crazies are everywhere. I personally wear a Kevlar corset just in case bullets start flying at any second."

"I just thought little Lotta would be fine as this is a really safe neighbourhood," wept White. "She just passed her babysitting course and I thought she could use the boost in confidence. I thought the exercise would be a good idea, too. I followed a block behind her with binoculars but I guess it wasn't enough watchfulness. I must be the worst mother ever!"

Over-Dunn concurred with White on her last point, adding, "If we can possibly save even one child from being psychologically damaged, then our policy of paranoid over-protection is worth it. We don't want to raise kids that have been messed up by others. That is why we have to take Lotta away from her Mom and put her in protective services."

Photo: Some rights reserved by WEBN-TV flickr photostream, The Sage nor the article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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