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Newfy Company Claims They Have Invented a Stealth Invisibility Cloak

Sues B.C. Firm For Patent Infringement

Above: A box like this one containing Newfoundland Invisibility Cloak, code named, "Hairy Podder Blanket", was discarded by CTCO officials.

(SNN) – Two Canadian companies are vying for the history books with the development of the invisibility cloaking shield. Following the announcement that a British Columbia based company called Humperstealth Bi-technology has developed a technique called “Quantum Stealth,” a type of camouflage that bends light around an object creating the illusion of invisibility, a company in Newfoundland has issued a grievance stating that they submitted the technology to the Canadian Technology Clearing Organization (CTCO) six months earlier.

Spokesperson for Invisicod Scale-Tech from St. John's, NL., Rodney Biniky, had this to say, “I was chow'in down faggot when me boss, Bobby Ferks, look'in all shit-picky told me that a bunch o've Bee Ceers from Vancouver stole our Hairy Podder Blanket.” Invisicod is claiming that they submitted their invisibility cloak, code named "Hairy Podder Blanket", for patent review, when Humperstealth stole the plans to build their own version.

“Them Maul Mouth's from Vancouver have another thing coming,” advised Biniky, “If they think they will get away wit steal-in' our invention they got an-udder ting com-min'. The older the crab, the tougher his claws.”

According to the CTCO, a box was delivered by Canada Post in August of 2013, which came from Invisicod, but the box was completely empty. CTCO has since discarded the box.

Biniky went before the Newfoundland media and delivered a prepared response to CTCO's blunder. “Lard dien' dumpin. Jesus iddn dat stun. The damn thing was there. It's invisible!”

Humperstealth was contacted by The Sage for their comment, but they refused to respond to Biniky's accusations. Invisocod has filed a claim in Newfoundland Provincial Court, which has not deterred the British Columbia firm from pursuing military contracts.

Photo: Some rights reserved by z287marc flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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