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Power Tool Shopping Parties For Men

Booze, Broads and Bargains Add Up To Big Business

(SNN) - Borrowing from the female marketing concept of home parties, such as those used to sell plastic-ware, cooking accessories and marital aids,  a number of male-centric companies are testing the direct sales market with surprising results. Gone are silly games to relax the ladies, these new male-dominated events often feature kegs of beer, scantily clad “tool demonstrators”, and a private room to “close the deals”.

So far, the companies that have entered into the direct marketing fad include Black and Cable, Porter Decker, Schitachi and Walt de Faque.  All of the companies have reported strong results, though the margins are blunted by high insurance premiums due to the danger of having a bunch of drunk guys playing with power tools.

“Even with all the loss of limb suits against us, we still see huge potential in the concept,” enthused the director of marketing for Stonely-Brawstitch, Rodney J. Hambone. “Once we get the drunken louts, I mean our revered customers, into the deal closing room we can charge what we like! These contractors don’t care. They can write it all off on their taxes anyway if they describe the purchase as a ‘building jack’ or a ‘biscuit joint’ on their documentation.”

“We did have one party raided by police,” admitted Hambone. “By the time the raid was over, we had racked up almost ten grand in sales!”

Photo: Some rights reserved by Charles & Hudson flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endored. Original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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