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Southern Preacher Holds Kindle Burning Party

Photo: Pastor Jerry Tones Shows The Way

(SNN) Pastor Jerry Tones and the Southern Church of the Reborn Old Time United Methodists, well-known for their past book burning services, have held a tablet burning party. They are hoping such action will make the statement that the church has embraced the new millennium and has become modern and progressive in their regressiveness.

"We see this as a real step forward for our congregation," enthused Pastor Tones. "Instead of just burning one evil, sin-filled book of depravity and disgusting human weakness, we can download scads of them and burn them all at once."

"Praise The Lord and especially Pastor Tones for showing us the way," claimed church member LeBreton Washington. "Sure my iPad cost me two weeks wages but I realize now that burning it was the right thing to do. It was full of unGodly books, blasphemous images and all manner of Devil -manufactured pornography if you looked hard enough. This window on sin had to be destroyed!"

To help with the destruction of the tablets, a number of manufacturers, including Microsoft, Apple, Kindle and Samsung have set up mobile sales booths at the burn site and all report a booming business. They have even teamed up to provide free wifi so the congregation can find the sinful websites before tossing the devices on the burn pile.

PhotoSome rights reserved by Mike Elleray flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endored. Original image can be found here.


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