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OEAS Slams IOC For Discriminatory Winter Games

PHOTO: Team USA Adds Color To Their Bobsled Team

(SNN) - Sarek Mugatu, a spokesman for the Organization of Emerging African States, has issued an open letter to the International Olympic Committee claiming the Winter Olympics discriminate against all tropical and sub-tropical countries. According to the letter, the IOC has “embraced a season known for its whiteness”.

“It is the position of the OEAS that by making athletes compete on snow and ice covered surfaces, it precludes warmer countries from participating. We have trouble finding ice for our drinks. How are we supposed to learn to skate? How could the Olympic committee fail to notice that no African nation has ever had a team in the International Ice Hockey Federation or the World Cup of Curling?” asks Mugatu in the release.

A lawyer representing the IOC, Foster Imbroglio, has responded to the letter by asserting that the Winter Olympics aren’t discriminatory since the northern countries struggle to compete in the much larger and more glamorous Summer Games.

“Frankly, countries like Canada and the Scandinavian countries suck at the Summer Games, so it evens out nicely,” Imbroglio responded in a snippy Facebook post. ”After all, it is pretty tough to train for outdoor events when your summer lasts between half past July and the August long weekend. I mean, when is the last time a Icelander won the 100 meter sprint?”

The Jamaican bobsled team was unavailable for comment, as were the bobsled teams from Togo, Nigeria, Ecuador, Costa Rica, Berundi, Mauritania, Chad and Jeremy.

PhotoSome rights reserved by The U.S. Army flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endored. Original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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