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Stoners Hijack Plane to Colorado

Photo:'They were screwing around in the cockpit and made us spill our drinks.'

(SNN) - Canadian stoners demanding asylum in Colorado hijacked a plane from Toronto originally bound for the State of Washington.

Two 18-year-old males each threatened to ignite 3 ounces of hash oil that they claimed would expand so rapidly the plane would explode.

“The worst that could have occurred would have been a plane-wide coughing fit followed by a lot of giggling,” claimed one of the television’s two Myth Busters who refused to give his name.

Irate over the absence of glassware in First Class, one of the stoners ate every bag of flight snacks while playing his ukulele over the public address system. Black box recordings of him singing improvised songs such as “Welcome to the Mile High Club,” and “Meet Me at the Super Bowl,” have become viral sensations on YouTube.

While one hijacker sang, the other took over the crew cabin and demanded that all passengers be forced to watch Seth Rogan movies in preparation for landing.  This terrible fate was averted by a quick-thinking pilot who distracted the stoned hijacker by sequencing the cockpit’s many instrument lights to make it seem like a Phish concert.

The incident ended without incident when US authorities brought in James Franco to deliver a tray of fresh brownies and negotiate the stoners’ surrender.

PhotoSome Rights Reserved by Kuster & Wildhaber Phoography flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. Original picture here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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