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Canada Trades David Suzuki for Michio Kaku

Canada and the U.S. Bolster their Academic Assets

(SNN) – It all started over a cup of coffee at a UN Cafeteria. Both President Barack Obama and Prime Minister Stephan Harper had some time to kill. The Sage was at the United Nations covering the recent UN envoy's welcoming address on the appointment of the new Somalia Prime Minister, when this reporter overheard Harper challenge Obama in a confab over the academic prowess of the science community. “Our Japanese scientists are better than your Japanese scientists,” blurted Harper.

Instantly, Harper was sprayed with a mouthful of coffee from Obama, as the president fought to hold back his laughter. Harper, with all due diplomacy politely wiped his cheeks with his hanky. That was the first volley, as the two world leaders debated over the intelligence of each countries' brain trust.

“Listen, Steve, we've got the brilliant experimental physicist, Dr. Chien-Shiung Wu; what do you have, a physician named Dr. Joseph Yu Kai Wong?” informed Obama, “Come-on man!”

“Dead and Chinese, Barack, dead and Chinese, that does not count,” came the reply from Harper. “You do know the difference between Japanese and Chinese, eh?.. Oh, and Wong, Chinese as well.”

With braggadocio glee, Harper then went on to list the environmental record of Dr. David Suzuki, “a real Canadian icon,” Harper bragged.

“He hates you, man!" Obama pounced back, “The man thinks your a Nazi, building gulags for a final round-up of greenies.”

“He hates me?” A puzzled Harper, at this point, was starring into his coffee.

“Listen Steve, let me do you a solid.” Obama had his arm around the Canadian Statesman. “We got this fella, Dr. Michio Kaku, a brilliant physicist, who I know comes from great Japanese stock.” Obama looked up into Harper's eyes, paused, leaned in, and then said. “I'll trade you Kaku for Suzuki.”

It was later learned that an all night long negotiation took place that resulted in closing a deal. Free Trade with the U.S. was not observed, as the deal saw Canada having to sweeten the pot. Obama received Suzuki, ten gallons of Maple Syrup, a flat of Molson's beer and the Harper family pet, Charlie the chinchilla.

The challenge ended two weeks later when a letter came from President Obama. It was written on White House stationery with one sentence in Barack's handwriting: “I was right!”

Photo: Some rights reserved by MikeWu and campuspartybrasil flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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