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Super Collider Secret Purpose Revealed

'I told you it wasn't just a make work project for the scientists'

(SNN) - The Large Hadron Collider (LHC), located on the border between France and Switzerland (since those Europeans can’t agree on anything), is finally revealing its secrets.  After being used to prove the existence of a particle that science knew was already there, the gigantic, multi-billion dollar machine is now ready to be employed for what it was originally intended; to contact their fat-cat scientist counterparts of Alpha Centari, so they can discuss how to milk this baby for all it’s worth.

According to a source well-placed within the LHC project hierarchy, (we may only refer to as “Deep Space”), the device was never designed for the so-called God Particle experiments for which the group claimed it was built. The “particle thing” just happened to be a handy sideline along the way toward developing a small warp field. They wanted to create one so they could send a sub-space message to their colleagues on a planet whirling about our next star neighbor.

“The ‘Collider Riders’, as we like to call ourselves, managed to get massive funding from many world governments not likely to spend tight money frivolously, other than the Greek government,” said Deep Space. “Therefore, you know these countries weren’t funding us for some screwball physics theory stuff. There’s no money in that.”

“But to be able to trade with a whole new planet,” continued Deep Space, “That interested them. Of course, we couldn’t let citizens here know what we were doing because then we would have to admit the existence of UFO’s which is against the rules, as per the LHC policy manual.”

According to the highly placed source, the scientific community found out about the Alpha Centarians when they managed to have NASA engineers track one of the many UFO’s they’ve encountered in their work and figured out its most likely trajectory.  

Photo by: cometstarmoon flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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