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Kim Jong-un Kills Kin to Combat Nepotism

Photo: Kim Selects His Next Victim

(SNN) - Korean Leader Kim Jong-un has gone on a chopping spree, reducing his family's influence on his leadership by removing his uncle, his brother-in-law, his former room-mate’s younger brother and various and assorted other relatives from their positions of power. His uncle, Jang Song Thaek, in particular, was an influential entity in Kim’s inner circle which included just Kim and his uncle. The administration’s spokesman said in an official communiqué that Kim’s dear, beloved and revered uncle “will be missed by everyone but the firing squad”.

“This move was important to show we don’t engage in nepotism in this administration,” said Kim, with a straight face, in a televised public statement. “We feel it is appropriate to demonstrate leadership in ridding this administration of undue influence by relatives. It will make Christmas much cheaper for me, too.”

Jang Song Thaek’s second cousin-twice-removed-from-office, Song Sung Blu, was also taken in the purge.  Song was in charge of the military’s Northern Latrine Command. Sources claim he was forced to watch continuous episodes of “The Bachelorette” until he committed suicide. These sources report it only took until the first commercial of the first episode for him to bite the capsule.

Photo by: Patrick Kicken  flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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