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Brits Now Have Children As Menu Option

Jonathan Swift's Prescient Vision Comes True


(SNN) - On the advice of a preserved treatise by ‘Gulliver’s Travels’ author, Jonathan Swift called “A Modest Proposal”, the British government has begun rounding up homeless waifs and orphans to be used as a source of food. The kids, obviously destined for a life of want and crime anyway, have been deemed better off as entrees and are starting to appear on menus in all kinds of dining establishments.

“It seems like an obvious approach to dealing with two problems; homelessness and shortages of inexpensive protein sources,” said Minister of Food, J. Hubert Winklebottom. “On the one hand you have a bunch of protein-based animals creating problems, and on the other, a need for cheap protein. So, As the French say, ‘Viola!’; we have the perfect solution.”

Customers who have tried the fare say it has a somewhat familiar flavor.

“It’s like chicken, but kind of bitter,” described patron, Irvin Moob. “It’s better with cheese and fried onions on it. You also have to get them while their still pretty young or they’re tough.”

Child care advocates, initially alarmed at the policy have appreciated the cut to their caseloads down to almost manageable levels. Officials are already looking at raising the age limit for culling and what, exactly, constitutes a waif and if the ignorant little blighters down at the mall might qualify.


Photo by: leunix  flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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