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White House Swallowed by Sinkhole

Lack of Solid Foundation and Support Blamed

(SNN) - Visiting tourists and passersby were shocked when the official residence and offices of President Barack Obama suddenly sank from sight, and not just in polling figures. Luckily, the building had been miraculously emptied for fumigating after a clandestine meeting with Korean leader Kim Jong-un and special envoy Dennis Rodman, so no deaths have yet been reported.

Witnesses to the event claim The Palace on Pennsylvania Avenue suddenly began emitting an enormous sucking sound before being drawn into the irritated bowels of the earth.

“It was horrible,” said eye witness Gladys Friday. “I was just taking a picture of my husband standing with some skinny woman I planned to photoshop my face over, with the White House in the background, when it happened. All of a sudden there was so much creaking and groaning I thought my lumbago was acting up. Then, with a disgusting slurping noise, the building just disappeared. My husband is fine, but I haven’t seen the skinny woman since. It’s okay, though as I’d already snapped the photo.”

Emergency workers arrived on the scene after they were done with any other pressing business they might have had and began assessing the situation, but there was little they could do. The hole that the administration had fallen into makes recovery almost a faint hope. Officials fear there will be little they can do to resurrect it to its previous stature.

Photo by: Paul Hamilton flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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