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Obama Issues National Ban on Pomeranians

Photo: Would You Trust This Beast With Your Child?

(SNN) - For the first time in his presidency, Barack Obama was supported by a co-operative, motivated bipartisan Congress when his government tabled a motion to ban Pomeranian dogs from all 50 states. The original bill, however, that would have banned any yappy, annoying dog was defeated by the GOP fearing the loss of party stalwarts Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin.

“It is with great pride I sign this bill outlawing Pomeranians,” Obama told the press and throng of cheering spectators. “This bill will ensure greater safety and security for our nation. There is no reason any citizen needs one of these vicious, noisy little upholstered kidneys. For one thing, where in the heck is Pomerania anyway? It seems that nation has sent this invasive species of dog to our shores with evil intent.”

Officials from the animal rights group, PETA were in attendance to support the president, along with representatives from a number of agencies, including a sizeable contingent from the National Rifle Association with signs saying “Ban Poms, Not Guns” and “Gentlemen, start your carbines!”.

“Our group is dedicated to the protection of all cute animals,” said PETA spokesman, Gord Matidor, “that’s why Poms don’t fit our protected list. You can even stomp them for all we care.”

Photo by: Mark Guim flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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