news director

Please Support our Sponsors

Booted Out of the Latest Fashion Trend?

(SNN) - I work in a college where there are many young, fashion aware women. These fashionistas look great in their awesome boots, the stylish footwear they wear over leggings made of  Spandex or stretch twill, leg-clinging pants that can easily fit into a pair of cute, tall boots. I’m jealous! Yoga pants, skinny jeans, ankle-cropped riding pants and winter weight tights are not kind or flattering to one whose hormones have taken her over to the dark side, or at least across the aisle to the plus sizes (the low end, mind you). 

My calves are unforgiving. I need boots that come in wide or extra-wide calf sizes. I just need to figure out just how wide I am. Great! I can do that. But what about the pants? It just isn’t right to shove the legs of my relaxed-fit Lee’s into a pair of gotta-have, tall boots.  The look of folded, scrunched up denim is not a fashion statement, it’s more an admission that I am a dork who just pulled off a winter fashion fail. 

I can’t begin to wear a pair of skinny jeans; that was eons ago, except that skinny jeans didn’t exist then. Yoga pants?  The stretchy, form fitting fabric ‘luon’ is not my friend.  Chip Wilson, owner of Lululemon, the store known for fashionable yoga wear, advises that “some women” shouldn’t be wearing their pants. You know, it’s those thighs rubbing together that causes piling (little bumps of fabric that appear after several washings). I will certainly not wear yoga pants, especially from Lululemon.  I wouldn’t want to add my bumps to that whole look.

Then, there’s the stretch twill riding pants cropped at the ankle. Very cute, very stylish. But like yoga pants, they’ll show every bump and bulge I own. First, I would have to squeeze into them: hold breath, suck in stomach, turn blue. I almost prefer twisting, turning, and yanking to put on a pair of Queen sized pantyhose; and I am so over pantyhose!

So, every winter I turn back to my overly warm, chocolate brown, LL Bean boots with the decorative fabric strip on the side, stuffing the bottom of whatever pair of slacks I am wearing into the boots long enough to travel from point A to point B and hope no one notices how so-last-year I look. Not that they care. In the meantime, I trudge around with boot envy.

So, what’s a middle-aged, hormone challenged gal to do?  Let me get creative.

The Vintage Look: Maybe there is some store somewhere that sells those old shirt dresses that were so popular in the 1970s. If I could force myself into a pair of Queen sized tights to accommodate the boots, the shirt dresses would hang down far enough to give the illusion that it’s OK to go out in public.  Of course, today’s high fashion boots wouldn’t work with the vintage look, so I would need to find a shoe shop that sold go-go boots, the kind Jane Fonda used to wear. Or maybe my old marching boots from my high school flag-twirling days would work. I still have the outfit; surely those boots are somewhere.

The Equestrian Look:  A friend of mine has a really cute pair of brown leather boots that look like they were made for horseback riding. If I could find them in wide-calf, all I would need are some riding breeches with enough give to go over a pair of Spanx to give the suggestion of smooth, cellulite free legs.  

The Blue Light Special Look:  If I get to this point, it’s in exasperation. Skinny jeans aren’t even on the radar. The size chart on the package of the black tights I liked stopped at Size 20 Years Back and someone replaced my Spanx with a smaller size. Might as well head to the sale rack, find my size, close my eyes, and just pull out any old pair of whatever and call it done. I can always get a pair of cute ankle boots that go with whatever.  I guess.

Are you a mature woman who is looking to ditch her short tan Uggs this winter?  Do you know how wide your calves are?  Have you perfected a technique for contorting your body into a pair of leg hugging tights so you can wear that hot pair of Steve Madden ‘Inctyce’ boots on sale at Nordstrom?  Are you suffering in silence with tall boot envy?  Let’s talk!

Photo: Some rights reserved by Maegan flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Entertainment and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
More from Dixie Ohlander



Most Viewed

Promote Your Business

Social Activity

Top ^