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Marketing Guru to Boost Poppy Image

Legion's Iconic Emblem to Be Brought Into New Millennium

(SNN) - The international governing body of all Legions, including The Royal British Legion, The Royal Canadian Legion,  the Unroyal American Legion, but not the Netherlands-based thrash metal band, Legion of the Damned, has hired the world’s leading authority on marketing and promotion to update the decades-old image of the poppies they distribute for donations every year. Sven Ghali, of Ghali and Dali Saturation Promotions was contracted by the old heroes club after an enormous inner battle within the Legion’s upper echelons.  According to sources deep within the secretive group (Bill the bartender at our local Legion hall), the old guard was resisting the modernization initiative.

Apparently, these old soldiers fought tooth and nail in the historic battles over poppies. First, losing the war to keep the scrap of green felt the poppies once had. Their next defeat was the fight over cheapening the pins; resisting the cost-saving move of switching to fasteners barely strong enough to pierce fabrics thicker than tee-shirt cotton. They were not prepared, the source said, to just roll over and take it. They never surrendered in their military lives and they weren’t about to start. Ghali, the organization hoped, would come up with a plan to satisfy everyone.

“The poppy casts a long shadow in the public’s mind and most famous and important people, as well as politicians, are loath to be seen in public without one,”  observed Ghali in a Sage exclusive interview. “The stick pin is actually a good marketing ploy since they are such a poor fastener for the job, people need to buy many poppies throughout the Remembrance season. The downside, of course, is the multiple puncture wounds suffered annually by poppy wearers.  We hope to deal with this issue by printing a warning label on the back of every poppy.

“The label at least acknowledges the problem,” stated Ghali. “I think that’s something. That’s not the only improvement we made, either.  I believe we have struck the balance we needed to update the poppy while reflecting the enduring nature of the sacrifice it symbolizes.”

“The Legion has had the poppy symbol for so long, it has become synonymous with the organization,” continued Ghali. “Almost as much as beer drinking. Therefore, although we want to keep the poppy, it doesn’t mean we can’t stylize it a bit while still staying true to the spirit of those who haven’t welcomed change since the late 1950’s.”

Some of the wild new changes proposed for the poppy included new coin boxes, the previously mentioned warning label, and the most radical alteration; changing the black center to dark grey.

“It is great to be part of revolutionizing this great institution.” beamed Ghali. “I almost want to donate back my enormous fee!”

Photo by: Elliot Brown flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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