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Children's Advocate Brings Suit Against Adults For Stealing Halloween

Photo: Courthouse Decorated For Class Action Plaintiffs

(SNN) - A partner in the legal firm Siren Pursuers International, in Fresno, Ca, has filed a class-action lawsuit against North American adults on behalf of children under 12 years of age. The lawyer, Parminder Bjornson, a noted children’s advocate, filed notice of action on Thursday against “adults and parents” for co-opting Halloween, over which children once had sole dominion. Bjornson is also seeking an injunction to forbid anyone over the age of consent from wearing a costume to a bar, hosting adult-only Halloween parties, or giving out Halloween candy if they have a blood-alcohol content of over .05.

“It used to be that Halloween was just for the kiddies,” Bjornson claimed in an affidavit. “Now, however, it has been taken over by adults. Trick-or-treating has become lamer than a one-legged zombie because parents can’t ever let their precious offspring out of their sight ever. They follow their kids around the neighborhood in mini-vans if they let them go Halloweening at all. This isn’t spooky or scary. It’s a confection exchange. Worse yet is taking a kid to a brightly lit, crowded mall to trick-or-treat. It has to be dark. It has to be scary. There has to be a chance you might get an apple with a razorblade in it. Even razor-free fruit should be banned. It’s about the candy, people.”

Bjornson is hoping that if successful, he can return Halloween to its rightful owners. He says the only acceptable reason for an adult to dress up on Halloween is to staff spookily decorated houses to maximize kids’ fun.

“Of course, once the kids are all safely tucked into bed after Halloweening, what consenting adults do in their costumes is their own business,” said Bjornson.

Photo by: Camp Zama  flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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