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Quebec Admits Values Charter Designed to Make Rest of Canada Crazy

Photo: Marois Tells Crowd, "It's Working Like a Charm!"

(SNN) - Although the proposed Quebec Charter of Values has been touted for months by a straight-faced Pauline Marois as a way to repress visible minorities and make them feel like provincial outsiders, party insiders admit it is all a big joke on the rest of Canada.

"Did you see the faces of les Anglais when they heard about it?" cackled a PQ strategist who would only identify himself as 'Pierre Fries With Cheesy Gravy'. "They were hysterical! I almost snorted maple syrup out my nose!"

Another of the party faithful in on the joke was equally gleeful.

"Those poor Canadians outside of our province obviously don't know we have the most progressive, socially conscious government in North America," gloated 'Pierrette Pommes d’ Terre Avec Fromagy Gravy’. "We would never deprive our fellow human beings of their right to wear whatever they want, no matter how weird it looks. Look at how all young people dress, after all. Torn jeans and pants down to here. Seriously. We don't oppress them; not even pan banging students. They would frankly be happier bonging pot than banging pots but they did what they had to in order to keep Quebec in the news."

According to sources in the immigrant communities in Quebec City, Hull and Montreal, allophone Quebeckers had already been advised the new charter was just a prank the government was pulling on their Canadian brethren. 

‘We think this is a wonderful jocularity at the expense of our English-speaking neighbors," grinned turban-wearing, Abdul Ali-Katz, a door to door bagel salesman in Montreal. "We know they are just using the trappings of people’s faith to get everybody talking about our province again. Banning ostentatious crosses on civil servants but keeping the gigantic cross in the National Assembly? Hilarious! People outside of Quebec just don’t understand good humor.”

"If you can't play a little joke on your federal federal brothers and sisters, who can you play one on?" chuckled Marois. "Those uptight guys in the rest of Canada kill me. If they were any easier to manipulate, we’d call them Gumby."

Photo by: Parti Quebecois flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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