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Snowden Leaks Trade Secrets of Russian Employer

Evades Internal Discipline by hiding from his Supervisor


(SNN) – Edward Snowden, the former NSA secrets leaker, is on the run again; this time from his immediate supervisor.

After settling down in Russia, Snowden secured employment with Russian software development giant Akella. Akella, a software developer of video games for the XBOX, Playstation and Sony Wii, employed Snowden in their box folding division.

“Everything was good,” stated line supervisor Ilya Kuryakin. “Edward was doing good; his folds were crisp, his errors were minimal; and he was very polite with the other ladies in the line.” Kuryakin advised that he felt that Snowden was fitting in well.

It was learned that Snowden began tweeting details from the product box of Akella's newest title, “Creating 2025: Battle for Fatherland”, scheduled to be released Christmas of 2014. “Da man just can't keep a secret," added Kuryakin.

The Tweets were picked up by British game developer Introversion Software. As a result, it was announced that they are planning a game release called “Creating 2025: Battle for Queen Mother.”

“We started an intense search for Snowden, and we discovered the men's toilet stall was covered with secrets the ladies shared with him while folding boxes,” advised Kuryakin. “I didn't know that Ingrid was gay, I was shocked.”

Akella is seeking internal discipline for Snowden, but he is no where to be found. It was reported that he has been going from business to business looking for a new job; but nobody is willing to take him in.

Not being able to stand the ribbing, Ingrid quit her position and is now working for McDonalds. While leaving, Ingrid was heard saying, “I can't believe the man outed me while pinching off a loaf.”


Photo: Some rights reserved by Khaz flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

RELATED STORY: Island Nation of Nauru offers Asylum to Snowden

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