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Edmonton plans to reduce the number of Homeless to Zero in 2014.

Plan calls for providing portable condos on the North Saskatchewan River

(SNN) - With Municipal Elections encroaching and campaigns in full swing, candidates have been answering concerns of voters throughout the province of Alberta. But in Edmonton where the winters are cold, no bigger issue is on the minds of the voter and rate payer alike as the on-going problem of the homeless.

In Alberta's capital of Edmonton, where an estimated 2,200 people are homeless, the disenfranchised can be seen tucked away in the river valley, alleyways and abandoned structures. It is estimated that nearly half that number have no shelter at all.

One candidate wants to tackle the issue of the homeless wandering the streets head-on and she has a surefire plan to reduce the number of homeless to zero by the spring of 2014.

Minnie Boozer, who is running for Alderman, has proposed Edmonton build condos from Sea-Cans on the North Saskatchewan River. “I propose providing clean and dry condos made from Sea-Cans,” stated Boozer, “They can be built on the river, on the east end of the city for easy access of the freeway.” Her plan includes providing enough of the portable abodes to house 2,200 people, complete with furnishings, bedding, portable heaters and food stocks for one year's supply.

The announcement has surprisingly become very popular amongst Edmontonians. “Boozer is a breath of fresh air,” proclaimed one lady shopping at West Edmonton Mall, where it is estimated that over five-hundred homeless hide from security 24 hours a day.

An unofficial poll conducted in the streets of Edmonton, show that nearly 80 percent of those surveyed are in favour of placing the homeless into the portable shelters as early as November of this year.

“If Boozer wins the election and her plan is adopted, we would not be able to install the condos until freeze up,” stated Barry Dumas, “That could be as late as November 15th.”

The North Saskatchewan River is a glacier-fed river that flows east from the Canadian Rockies to central Saskatchewan. It runs through Edmonton into Saskatchewan and flows through the City of Saskatoon, a city that is known to have implemented excellent social programs and permanent shelters for the homeless.

Photo:  "City of Edmonton, looking west down the North Saskatchewan River in a typical November." By: Brian K. Hahn, All Rights Reserved.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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