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Did Alice Munro Sleep Her Way to the Nobel Prize?

Critics Claim Renown Author Used Her Feminine Wiles To Win

(SNN) - The insightful, compelling, even brilliant writer, Alice Munro, did not leave winning the Nobel Prize for Literature to chance, say literary rivals of the author’s recent win. According to fellow Canadian author, Michael Ondaatje’s former hairstylist’s brother-in-law, Ferd Nerley, Munroe wantonly seduced almost the entire Nobel judging committee.

“With an imagination like Alice’s, one can only guess at what sensual delights she offered those judges,” sniggered Nerley creepily in an exclusive interview with The Sage. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she went all Miley Cyrus on us at the awards show.”

Nerley isn’t alone in his opinion of Munro’s approach to claiming the most prestigious literature prize in the world. Another source has come forward who has offered to sell a sex tape featuring Munro and the chairperson of the judging committee cavorting in a Motel 6 in New Jersey. The anonymous movie seller is seeking $10,000.00 for the video which features a trailer of Toronto mayor Rob Ford injecting marijuana as an added bonus.

Not everyone is shocked by the writer’s alleged lascivious behavior. Many at the Sunset Apartments senior’s home applauded the 88 year-old Munro.

“Good for her!” exclaimed one senior named Doris who couldn’t remember her last name. “I say, get it while you can, girlie. It gets to be pretty slim pickings after 90.”

“I think she’s hot!” enthused Lloyd Grimsby, another Sunset dweller. “Forget Alice Munro; she should change her name to Marilyn Munroe! Hubba hubba!!!”

Munro has not commented publically on the racy charges.  She did mention she must delay her retirement, however, until after she completes her video “Alice Gone Wild”.

Photo by: Guerretto flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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