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Harper Admits Brazil Spying; 'Who Doesn't?'

Foreign Spooks Pump Millions Into Nation's Tourism Economy


(SNN) - Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, has responded to demands from the President of Brazil, Dilma Rousseff, to come clean on reports that Canada spied on that country. Rousseff is reportedly very angry, having recently discovered the U.S. had also been spying on them for years. She even cancelled a private meeting with U.S. President Barack Obama in protest. She never had plans to meet Harper again after Harper’s visit to Brasilia in 2011. Their talks broke down when Harper refused bilateral talks claiming “my party doesn’t go for that bi stuff”.

“We are truly disappointed in Canada amid these spying allegations and await an explanation,” said Rousseff in diplomatic language that translates to calling another country an a-hole. “This better be good.”

"Of course we spied on Brazil," Harper stated in a surprising assertion to reporters on Tuesday morning. "Everybody spies on Brazil. Their intelligence defenses are more porous than Robert Luongo in a clutch situation."

Harper then reeled off a list of other countries that CSIS agents have identified as having operatives in Brazil. They included the U.S., China, Russia, Togo, Lichtenstein, PEI and the Vatican, among many more. The PM also explained that a lot of the spying wasn't intended to gain an intelligence advantage over the beleaguered country but was almost always accidental.

"I know our CSIS agents weren't purposefully trying to target Brazil," explained Harper. "They just were a little confused. How could they know "a Brazilian" was actually a person from Brazil? The agents were looking for something totally different. They told me it was some kind of fancy hair cut."


Photo by: Emory Allen flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

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