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Microsoft Debuts SexBox 360: R-rated Virtual Reality

Sex Trade Workers Fear Impact On Their Industry


(SNN) - Computer giant Microsoft has revealed a revolutionary virtual reality system that is intended to replace real sex in people’s lives much like marriage does. The system, and one can only surmise the user, comes with an audio/video projecting helmet and “tingle suit”.  As long awaited as this advance in gaming technology is, however, it is not without its detractors who claim it was premature. According to Microsoft officials, besides the religious community voicing strong objections to this thrust, an association of sex-trade workers has issued a scathing personal ad accusing the computing company of restraint of trade and unfair business practices.

“They’ve been screwing their customers more often than I screw mine already,” spat one lady of the evening with a large hooked nose who would only identify herself… himself… itself as ‘Goldilox’. “It’s tough enough to make a few bucks in this business without having to compete with a wealthy, powerful corporation. I’m glad I use a Mac.”

Corporation spokesman Dick Palmer has indicated the company is forging ahead despite the controversy.

“We aren’t trying to rub people the wrong way,” explained Palmer in an exclusive Sage interview. “We think we have a great new product to insert into the marketplace and we are enthusiastically plunging in head-first.”

The new SexBox is designed to give the user a complete erotic experience and can be programmed with a number of virtual women who had their pictures taken by company representatives touring “the strips” of North America.

“I remember when that car with all the cameras came, clicking like mad,” remembers 19 year-old Courtney Luv (not her real name) who works her trade in Boston. “I thought they were a little intrusive compared to that Google Maps vehicle.”

The gaming system is quite expensive however, retailing at a whopping $19,999.95, but Palmer points out it is cheaper than getting married and giving up every dime you’ll ever get again. He also added he did not think Microsoft was an ironic name for a sex game manufacturer.

Photo by: Gianna Borgnine Flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.


DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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