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Texan tycoon, Garry Moore, opens a chain of cow dealerships in India.

GMC opens Used Cow Dealerships in Delhi.

(SNN) - The news of US automotive giant Garry Moore III, opening a chain of used cow dealerships in India was greeted with jeer by staunch Hindu leader Sharmus Moonje.

Moore, a descendant of the recording artist famous for the toe tapper “Ode to a Cow,” has incorporated GMC India, (Garry Moore Cows) and has opened dealerships along roadways in Delhi, Ahmedabad, Faridabad, Allahabad, Dhanbad and Mumbai. “My great, grand daddy would be proud," stated Moore. “I provide the best cow anywhere and I will match any dealer incentive offered.” Moore added that he has the best “certified used cows” in India.

Moonje has organized a peaceful march through Mumbai in protest. “I will not tolerate GMC to exploit the Aghnya,” protested Moonje, “They are supposed to be free to roam the streets in India. My heart aches at the sight of the noble Brahmin lined up on a lot, with helium balloons holding up their tails and slashed prices chalked on their flanks.”

The protests will not deter Moore, who has advised The Sage that his first week of business was brisk. “I love the people here in India,” bragged Moore. “People threw their money at me, and were eager to pull the cows off my lot.” Moore advised that when he sold out he was able to replenish his inventory during the night. “I just used my great grand daddy's famous nasal 'cattle call,'” stated Moore, “They just come a runn'in when I call them back; shucks, its like tak'in candy from a baby.” Each day GMC's dealer lots are fully stocked.

According to local authorities, Moore is well within the law to sell his used cows, “There is not a word, dot or tittle on the books that disallows Mr. Moore from selling quality used cows in India,” was the word from Bubli Manjeet, the caretaker for the “All India Federation of Motor Vehicle Department Technical Executive Officer's Association.”

According to Moore, the future is bright. “My family has a deep respect and love for the cow,” stated Moore. “In the word of my great grand daddy, 'Let me salute your magic udder. You're my sister; I'm your brudder.”

The Sage has nothing to add to that.

Photo: "GMC used Cow Dealership" Some rights reserved by california cowgirl1 flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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