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Climatologists: 'Planet is in Grave Danger or Maybe Not'

Global Warming Experts Can't Agree If They're Clueless

(SNN) - The UN International Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has announced they haven’t got a clue what will happen next in ‘the whole global warming thing’. The august body sifts through all the conflicting climate data produced world-wide, even in Lichtenstein, and issues a report every three years on their findings.  Not to say that past estimates have been somewhat erroneous but according to the 2001 report, we’re all supposed to be crispy critters by now.

“We admit that we may have erred on the extreme side of caution just an eensy-teensy bit,” admitted lead scientist, Dr. Elmwort Knechwattle of the Dakota County Technical College in Minnesota. “Now we see that the computer models we were working with were actually part of a video game called “Sims; WeatherMaster 3D” and not real climate modeling software. We think with that small glitch corrected, we can be more confident when we say we’re not sure what will happen in global warming trends.”

Although all the assembled climatologists all agreed that they really couldn’t be certain about climate change beyond the seven day forecast available on the news from their equally unreliable cousins, the meteorologists, there was still diversity of opinion.  Some believed the Earth was actually cooling, while one woman scientist claimed we actually were burning up and only she could feel it. She recanted her theory later when she realized she was just having a hot flash.

“The only thing we know for sure,” stated Knechwattle, “is that climate change might be happening and we should continue to be paid large amounts of money to study it.”

Photo by: woodleywonderworks flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.


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