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G20 Leaders Discuss What To Blow Up In Syria

Few Things of Value Left to Obliterate


(SNN) - The exclusive club of world leaders known simply as the shadowy “G20 nations”, was alive with discussions regarding the best targets to go after, should U.S. president Barack Obama manage the impossible and convince the world, Syrian’s president, Bashar al-Assad was behind the chemical attacks in that country.

Unfortunately for the group, picking an appropriate target to reflect their rage and indignation, blah blah, has proven to be problematic for various reasons.

“At first it was suggested that the Assad family compound be devastated,” claimed one G20 insider who wished to remain anonymous and alive. “But Vlad pointed out Barack promised no regime change. Then the chemical weapons bunkers were singled out for attention by Dave, but Stephen mentioned it might create an environmental catastrophe. The Canadian Prime Minister is, apparently, well versed in environmental catastrophes and his word carried a lot of weight.”

“Barack then mentioned they could maybe take out the airports from which they scramble their military aircraft,” continued the informed source. “but, again, Vlad nixed the plan, as he is lunching with Bashar in a couple weeks and needs the airport intact. It was generally agreed that inconveniencing the Russian leader was not a reasonable approach if they want to maintain their “Caring For One Another” credo.”

Eventually, the targets that were offered for consideration degraded to sites such as the Assad family tent trailer, an empty field south of Damascus and a sanitary landfill in the north, which intelligence sources have indicated is sometimes used by “bad people who throw away recyclables”.

“We were really hoping to select something spectacular in Syria to decimate since there’s nothing left like that in Afghanistan,” said President Obama, according to the informant. “I guess it will just have to be the tent trailer. I hope the propane bottles are full, at least.”


Photo by: DonkeyHotey flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

 

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