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Kim Jong-un Beheads Kitties and Puppies

Beloved Leader Sends Warning To Anyone Barfing On Him

(SNN) - Reports coming from unconfirmed sources are suggesting that North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un, has personally taken part in a state-sanctioned axing of cute little puppies and kittens. Apparently, the darling little creatures’ only crime was to have vomited on the popular-by-law impotentate.

The action is being seen by foreign analysts as a way of impressing on his people how stridently he will support his “brand”. Throwing up on someone is a most extreme social faux pas in that nation given that food is so precious.

Being the so-called “Hermit Crab Nation” for their isolation and grumpiness, any information corroborating the NK leader’s heinous act is, of course, impossible to find.  The stories being reported emanate from Chinese workers who are allowed into NK for carrying their meager goods to market. For extra cash these drivers will provide information to news agencies and the more sensational, the more they get. However, like in the West, accuracy isn’t that essential.

Experts on the isolationist nation have agreed that the deaths of the doggies and kitties was part of a purge that included machine-gunning Kim’s former girlfriend for selling their home-made sex tape and blowing up one of his father’s most trusted aides with a small nuclear device.

“Never before have we seen such horrible acts being reported in the mainstream media about a foreign leader,” commented South Korean political analyst, “Itchy” Koo Park. “We haven’t seen this kind of insanity since they asked Dennis Rodman to come back for a visit.”

Photo by: jdxyw flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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