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Miami Seniors Center Celebrates 'Go Topless Day'

'I Can See Why They Used To Be Called Flappers'

(SNN) - The Twilight Time Seniors Village in Miami Florida was a hotbed of activity on Sunday after the majority of the residents voted to hold a topless parade around their walking paths to celebrate World Topless Day. At least 35 women, ages between 75 and 91 took part in the festivities, as well as a resident known as “Creepy Charlie” who, at 88, thinks he is the reincarnation of Marilyn Munroe.

“It was a lot of fun,” enthused Gertrude Dangler of the Seniors Village. “I was quite disappointed how much more wrinkly my birthday suit has gotten. I would love to get it pressed.”

“I think taking the girls out for a bit of sun is quite healthy!” said fellow resident Mildred Appleby. “I just needed someone to hold them when I was getting some punch from the big bowl to avoid being unsanitary.”

Gloria Elderherder, social director for the group was upset with the proceedings, however. She made it clear this was all the ladies’ idea and she actively tried to stop the demonstration.  “I offered to bring in clog dancers,” she wept. “I offered them a trip to the library. I even offered them bingo. All they want to do is parade around topless and yell ‘Hell no, we can’t go!’ It was pathetic!”

Law officials eventually broke up the demonstration, citing unsightly premises by-laws as their reason. Bylaw Officer Lester Nerdle, who was part of the tactical unit that answered the 911 call, appeared upset as he tried to get some of the more nimble women back into the home.

“I think I have just been cured of being a boob man,” he gulped, fighting down the bile.

Photo by: West Midlands Police flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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