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Police carry out largest water gun seizure ever in Canada.

NFA recommends a National Water Ban.


(SNN) - Ontario Provincial Police (OPP) Deputy Commissioner and Provincial Commander, Kotter Todd, said Monday that his administration has successfully carried out the largest water gun seizure in Canada's history.

At a Monday morning press conference, Deputy Todd announced that his officers in Toronto have managed to arrest 19 individuals believed responsible for running an illegal water gun pipeline from Alberta and Newfoundland to Toronto along the TransCanada highway.

The seizure of squirt guns in Canada was made easier for police when Prime Minister Harper cancelled the national gun registry, which on the surface counteracted his promise to Canadians to get tough on the criminal element. OPP were quick to locate a kink in the law that encompassed squirt guns, which made water guns illegal due to its ability to imitate a restricted weapon.

“Squirt guns are very dangerous in the hands of anybody over the age of twelve,” stated Todd in the press conference. “The average adult does not have the respect for the blunt force trauma that a stream of water can cause to the eye.”

The seizure, which amounted to a cache' of water pistols amounting to over 15,000 units, were found in the back of a UPS truck headed for Giant Tiger, Canada's save on everything store.

“We have been watching Giant Tiger very closely,' disclosed Todd, “The organization came to our attention when they began pushing remote controlled helicopters on boxing day for under ten dollars a unit.” Todd advised The Sage, that these helicopters were not toys and that the level of control they afforded the remote pilot could be used to deliver hell down on national monuments, high rises and even donuts shops.

“This arrest is a historic event, no two ways about it,” says National Firearms Association spokesman, Blaine Hogan. “But we’re still opposed to making paper criminals out of peaceful squirt gun owners.” The NFA has suggested that a better way of controlling squirt gun distribution is to make ammunition less desirable. “The answer is to impose a water ban,” added Hogan.

The seizure by the OPP has dwarfed the largest gun seizure ever in New York, which was announced last week by Mayor Micheal Bloomberg and New York Police Department Commissioner Ray Kelly, which occurred along the Interstate 95 corridor.


Photo (above): Some rights reserved by LexnGer flickr photostream, The Sage nor this news item endorsed.
Photo  (top): Some rights reserved by puuikibeach flickr photostream, The Sage nor this news item endorsed.

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