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Expansion discovered at North Korea Nuke Site.

(SNN) – Satellite surveillance obtained by American intelligence revealed disturbing images clearing showing that North Korea has been expanding at a suspected nuclear facility. Department of Defence spokesperson J. D. Spumone, in a recent press release, advised that the addition of a structure expansion is a clear violation of the 1953 Korean Armistice Agreement, which has been under tense enforcement since the end of the Korean conflict.

“The images show the building with a set of mysterious markings,” stated Spumone. “We have not been able to decipher the symbols. We have forwarded the markings over to our science lab to see if it corresponds to any known symbols connected with fissionable materials.”

In an unusual move, President Obama addressed the nation in order to quell the nation's fears. “Let me make this perfectly clear,” reassured the President. “I have ordered all our scientific and intelligence resources into revealing the meaning of the symbols found on a North Korean nuke site.”

The symbols were leaked to the Internet by a former American civilian currently hiding out in Russia. The leak went viral on Facebook, which was shared over 50,000 times within two days:

A group of cub scouts from Camp Sucksabunch, learning to use Google Android tablets, stumbled across a translation of the symbols using Google Translator. The results were immediately forwarded to the CIA.

Although the CIA have classified the translation for national security purposes, the cub scouts posted the translation on the Camp Sucksabunch Facebook page.

The post reads... “Akela says I earned my Communicator pin by translating the Korean word. In English it means Cafeteria.”

Photo: Some rights reserved by (stephan) flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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