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Man Sells House When His CFL Bulb Breaks

'Too Much BS and Danger in Clean Up For Me' - Homeowner


(SNN) - St. Paul, Minnesota homeowner, Hugh DeMann, is selling his luxurious house and property rather than deal with the fall-out from a broken Compact Fluorescent Lamp, also known as CFL bulb. With the 5mg of mercury contained within each unit, some of which was released into the atmosphere along with other gasses, DeMann felt it just wasn’t worth the risk.

“Have you seen the instructions for clean up for these things?” DeMann said to the press members he talked to in his front yard. “You have to take it to an ‘ecostation’ and so far they haven’t even built it yet. How long am I supposed to store the deadly broken shards and all the other bulbs that break or burn out? The closest ecostation to us is in Canada. They won’t let me bring in dangerous goods like broken CFL bulbs. What else can I do?”

DeMann’s plight is of great concern to those who oppose having their bulb choice taken away. The governments of both Canada and the U.S. are banning incandescent bulbs as of 12:00 AM January 1 across North America (12:30 AM in Newfoundland). They cite the tremendous energy savings the CFL bulbs offer over their brighter burning rivals and tend to gloss over stories about the CFL bulbs occasionally bursting into flames.  The Cartoonists of America have lobbied hard to be exempt from the incandescent ban since having to draw those curly bulbs is just too difficult when someone in the strip gets an idea.

“For myself,” DeMann said, “I’m buying a place with a huge garage so I can keep a lifetime supply of incandescent bulbs stashed away. I just don’t need the hassle and risk of those stupid CFL’s. Of course I’ll have to buy a gun to defend them since I’m not the only one that likes incandescents better.”


Photo by: Mathew Bajoras  flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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