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Obama Appoints Sarah Palin Ambassador to Canada

'Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Refrigerated'


(SNN) In what is being viewed as a shrewd move by U.S. President Barack Obama, the White House has announced Sarah Palin will replace former Ambassador to Canada, David Jacobsen, who left the post in mid-July.

According to White House Press Secretary Jay Carney in a surprisingly frank and candid exchange with reporters, said the president is confidant Palin is the perfect fit for the job.

“There have been some negative press reports regarding the vacuum left by Jacobsen in the ambassadorial position,” claimed Carney during the press conference. “Unfortunately, ‘help wanted’ ads to fill the position have gone unanswered, since the majority of the large donors to the party would rather not be rewarded than be sent to Canada for four years. We consider ourselves fortunate Palin has agreed to go, however, given that her Political Action Committee funding has eroded almost as fast as her credibility.”

The selection of Palin as ambassador delighted the former Governor of Alaska and one-time vice presidential nominee, unlike everyone else offered the job (a list that included Caroline Kennedy).

“We love Canada!” gushed Palin during an interview with CPAC, the Canadian Parliamentary Access Channel. “That’s where we used to sneak into to get free healthcare when we were growing up! They got way better beer there, too!”

According to Carney, Palin’s familiarity with Canada was a major asset in the administration considering her for the diplomatic post. He admitted the neighbor to the north hasn’t had an ambassador that could find Canada on a map of North America in over twenty years.

“This will be a new era in relations with Canada, thanks to the appointment of Ms. Palin,” Carney asserted. “They may end up hating us for the choice but at least it gets her out of our country. The best thing is, when is the last time the international press reported anything the U.S. Ambassador to Canada ever said? This will shut her up for a good four years, if she stays with it that long, of course, considering her previous track record. Besides, if she sticks to Alberta, the Canadian people probably won’t even notice her as she would blend right in.”


Photo by: Gage Skidmore  flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

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