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Castro considers U.S. Citizenship.

Raul believes Americans ready with open arms.

(SNN) - Political critics were stunned this week when, in a rare interview, communist leader of Cuba, Raúl Castro, in an answer to the question 'Do you ever see Cuba becoming a friend to America?' the notorious Castro family head stated, “America has changed...... one day, when I leave office, I would like to retire in Texas.”

The remark had Texans digging up caches of old firearms, and changing the locks on their old bomb shelters. Within twenty four hours of the statement, Russian leader Vladimir Putin is reported to have choked on a fifth of vodka guttering, “What da F....!”

Geopolitical analysts were not so surprised.

In an exclusive interview with The Sage, former British analyst and MI6 asset Peter Piddle stated, “When you think about it, America has changed drastically in just the past ten years.” According to Piddle, the America of the commie-phobic McCarthy years has systematically been stripped away since 9/11. “In the fifties and sixties, Americans derided the paranoid party politick of the Soviet Union.” advised Piddle, “The best example of this was the impeachment of former President Richard Nixon.”

Not many forget the outrage of the average American with the news that Nixon had been recording conversations; and of the subsequent cover-up of burglaries into the Democratic National Committee headquarters at the Watergate complex.

“Nixon was forced out of office for what in essence was the invasion of privacy and the unlawful procuring of information.” stated Piddle, “In contrast, today, the state run agencies (NSA) can invade the privacy of all Americans by stealing data from emails and telephone communications, and nobody calls for President Obama's impeachment. On the contrary, the whistle blower is chased around the world and hunted down like a common criminal.”

Piddle was quick to point out that Americans have been conditioned to accept communist practices, “This could be why Castro believes he could safely fit into American community living.” concluded Piddle.

But is Texas a place for Castro?

“Hell no!” protested Dallas propane saleman Hank Hill, “If that commie comes to Texas, I tell you what! We will either put him down like a lame dog, or kick his faggitty ass back to Cuba!”  

Photo: Some rights reserved by The Kremilin ( The Sage nor this article endorsed. (Creative Commons) "HAVANA.With President of the Council of State and Council of Ministers of Cuba Raul Castro."

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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