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Zombies Ruin Church Camp Party

'It's Certainly a Bad Year For Them'

(SNN) - A kids summer camp celebration near Opelousas, LA was made unpleasant when swarms of zombies descended on the group.  The initially idyllic festivities turned ugly when camp organizers ran out of zombie repellant and the “No-Zombie Strips” proved as ineffective as the citronella candles and zombie coils they had set out to discourage them.

“Everything was going splendidly,“ groaned Deacon Michael Jackson (no relation to the late entertainer) “and then came the zombies. We tried to make a game out of it by giving the kids zombie swatters but the swarm of unwelcome, lumbering undead persons just became too much. We had to go indoors before the children suffered too many zombie bites. Luckily, we brought a lot of calamine lotion, God be praised.”

When contacted by The Sage, county officials responsible for the camp area were quick to respond to the issue.

“We feel bad that the kiddies had a bit of a bad time but we’ve been spraying the swamps with poisonous chemicals to try and kill the pests before they can gather in a swarm but so far it has been ineffective,” admitted Parks and Recreation Director, Ruby Dube. “We are still ongoing with our spraying program but it is a bad year for them. You can hardly sit outside in your backyard at night without being bitten a number of times.”

Photo by: Digital Sextant flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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