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Paul McCartney Protests Slaughter of Baby Dills

Bicks Headquarters Site of Pickle Picketers

(SNN) - Aging British rocker (now known as being a “recliner rocker”), Paul McCartney has whipped his entourage into a frenzy to stop companies from using young varieties of vegetables “to make a quick buck”.

“These poor cucumbers here are just babies,” McCartney’s sad eyes betrayed the depth of his feeling. “They’ve never had a chance to grow up and be, well, bigger cucumbers.”

While McCartney’s supporters chanted “Don’t kill baby dills”, McCartney took to the makeshift stage, made entirely of roadies, to vilify the “pickle magnates in their sour towers”, sing a few songs and pitch his latest album available on iTunes.

Other planned protest sites include Del Monte’s baby beet and carrot processing facilities and Andres Baby Duck wineries.

“It is important to me to do my bit to bring positive change to the planet,” gushed one protestor who identified herself as just “Sky”. “But mostly I just love Sir Paul. He’s so cute and he’s now at an age where he can show a girl a new wrinkle every day!”

Photo by: kubacheck flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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