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Man-Breasts Becoming Chic

Moobs Popularity Expanding Like North American Waistlines

(SNN) - Man-boobs, once looked on with scorn and derision are becoming a sign of sexiness, recent polls report. In the past these seemingly misplaced, soft, fleshy orbs have been associated with laziness, gluttony and ingestion of certain herbs that cause laziness and gluttony. Now, however, after perhaps centuries in the cultural closet, “mannary glands” are suddenly cool.

“Seeing moobs on a guys really turns me on,” admitted lingerie model, Sally (not her real name – for her real name, send $10.00 in care of The Sage) “I don’t know what it is about them that does it for me; maybe the jiggling part.”

“Oh yeah, man-breasts are the best,” giggled Sadie (Her real name is Sally.) “When I was younger I thought they were gross; like floppy bags of skin Jello, but I realize now it is a sign of wealth, power and prestige. Just talking about them makes me tingly!”

Health Canada has weighed in the subject warning men that the presence of “protruding male breasts’ can be a sign of impending ill health and should be avoided.

“Our fear is that young men will use drugs to acquire these unhealthy affectations,” explained spokesperson, Dr. Ivana Chesterfield. “Already appetite stimulants are popular in mainstream drug culture in North America. This problem will only get worse if the so-called ‘moobment’ grows.”

A series of documentaries showing the dangers of moobs was planned for shooting in May until it was pointed out the last thing these guys need is a another reason to sit around and watch TV.

Photo by:  flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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