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Apple Introduces the i-Plunge App

Free Clogged Toilets with One Finger

(SNN) Apple executives have announced a bold, new app for their popular i-Phone which allows users to clear stuck sewage from household pipes with only the press of a button. What was once a disgusting, gross chore has become just another amazing use for the versatile i-Phone.

“This is one of the most exciting apps we’ve ever introduced,” proclaimed Apple spokesman Nostiki Shytaki at the National Plumber’s Conference in Poughkeepsie. “Simply by placing the i-Phone in the toilet water and up the hole a bit, then pressing the touchscreen, the phone will emit powerful sound waves at the fecal matter disturbing it enough to allow gravity to do its work. You can even send photos direct to Facebook of the process!”

The conventioneers in attendance were divided about the new Apple invention. Some see it as a threat to their businesses.

“How are we supposed to compete with that?” moaned Boyd Riverpickle. “Now even little old ladies that can't work a plunger will be able to clear out the wads of tissue they wrap around their hands like mittens.”

Journeyman plumber Walter Closet was unimpressed, however.

“I don’t see folks sticking their fancy phones in toilet water than holding them against their head,” chuckled Closet. “I think this Apple app is rotten to the core.”

Photo by: insidious and subtle M flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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