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Island Nation of Nauru offers Asylum to Snowden

NSA leaker Edward Snowden offered fertile job.


(SNN) - With the US government hot on Snowden's heals, the man with no home has been offered asylum in the tiny island nation of Nauru. “On behalf of the Nauruvian government we would like to extend the protection to the NSA leaker, Edward Snowden,” said President, Secretary Treasurer, Minister of Fisheries, Education and Defence, Ombudsman and Manager of the Buada Lagoon Coffee Shack, Warron Baqa, “I am re-opening the old British Phosphate Commission's mining operation and I believe Snowden is the man for the job.”

A full member of the United Nations, Nauru is only eight and a half square miles, and was once one of the richest nations per capita in the world, until the phosphate mining dried up in the 1990's. “Global Warming has seen thousands of birds returning to Nauru for the past 10 years,” stated Baqa, “the birds have been dropping blessings from the skies, and new guano deposits have replenished our natural resources.”

“Snowden's qualifications are unique for handling guano,” said former president Sprent Dabwido, who is now in charge of sanitation. “Anyone as deep in it as Snowden can surely resurrect our nation's economy. We are all very excited.”

The Sage had learned that Snowden is now pondering asylum in Venezuela, and may not appreciate the olive branch from Nauru. “Snowden is looking for a population where he can blend in.” said an undisclosed source.


Photo by: Some rights reserved by ARM Climate Research Facility, The Sage nor this artivle endorsed, “The Island Nation of Nauru”

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