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Texas To Off 500th Inmate Amid Huge Fanfare

''We Have to Send a Signal That Killing is Wrong'

(SNN) - It took a lot of sketchy evidence, flawed police work and rushed trials but the State of Texas has announced it will be relieving their 500th prisoner of their mortal coil, since it reinstated the death penalty in 1989.  Kimberley McCarthy, (no relation to uber-hottie, Jenny McCarthy) is slated to receive a lethal injection later today.

“This will be a great day for Texas,” beamed Texas governor and one-time presidential nominee, Rick “I can’t remember the name of the department I want to ax” Perry. “We are planning state-wide celebrations with music and dancing and face-painting for the kiddies.“

The state has hired event planner, Bubba-Lou Shrubsucker, of Bubba’s Blowout Boutique and Taxidermy Supplies, to coordinate the festivities. Over one hundred proud Texas communities are joining in the fun including Dallas, Fort Worth and the town with no respect, Daingerfield.

“Our entire state is really excited about our 500th “Perpday,” gushed Perry in a press conference on Tuesday. “Killing black folk is what Texas is all about!”

Photo by: T Woodard flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

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